Pastors let’s be honest. We probably need to do a better job caring for our own souls. I have been a pastor for nearly three decades and I understand running after the important and urgent on a weekly basis but there were seasons when I neglected my personal relationship with Jesus.
I want to share with you some “soul killers”, how to be on the lookout for these and finally provide some “soul healers.”
First, here are some soul killers.
Poor Margins
Like a book has margins to write in so we don’t run off the page, we need margins avoiding doing the wrong things. When we do too many of the wrong things, we don’t have room for better things in our lives. We can feel disorganized, so we are always scrambling to get stuff done. We need to slow down and work on our lists. Where do you keep your lists of priorities? Are they on a notepad, on our computer or on an App?
Poor Boundaries
Sometimes we can say yes to everything and not say no to other things. We need to be more strategic with our time and energy. Of course, we are all responsible for accomplishing our job descriptions and leading our churches, but we need to take care of our souls too. There are seasons in ministry where there is more overload, but we need to find a pace through boundaries to maximize our impact for the kingdom.
Poor Perception of Self
Sometimes you might feel like a rock star thus, everything is going to fall apart if you are not there. Sometimes in ministry we feel like we need to be needed and that can become an attack on the soul. Sometimes this is called the cult of personality. Our people pleasing gets in the way of God pleasing.
Over Programming
We need to be strategic and purposeful about events, retreats, programming so we are effective, but also, so we care for our souls. In my experience, the larger the church, the more programming seems to happen. It is a gravitational pull toward trying to do more. We need to slow down, pray and decide what we can do faithfully without compromising our own souls.
Okay, now let’s address areas under the radar which can scare your soul.
Unresolved Hurt
You are going to get hurt in ministry from email, phone calls and not meeting someone’s expectations of you whether true or made-up expectations. This leads to irritation, distancing yourself from the person, creating bigger distances with people, being angry, digging a hole of bitterness and leads to hurting yourself, the team and your church ministry. This all occurs because your soul was hurt. We can’t let this go unresolved.
Ongoing Cynicism
I have been in seasons when disillusionment caused pain and distrust with others. We start to complain about staff, church leadership, the congregation, personal circumstances, people that have left the church. We can’t let this go unchecked.
Entitlement + Jealousy
We can also become jealous asking why I don’t have the same things others have or the same opportunities? So, we compare ourselves with others and start to become mad, jealous and entitled. This hurts our souls.
Burnout Begins
All of this adds up and we miss times with God in Bible Study and Prayer, we complain more, overload our schedule, our family is hurting and everything seems to go downhill.
We need to keep our radar up to all of these becoming part of who we are and what we do.
Now, let’s talk about healers for our souls.
Bible Study for Relationship
When is the last time you studied the Bible to just understand and get to know Jesus more (not to prepare a sermon, Bible study or class). The goal is not to finish, but to change your heart. Take your time without rush. Read and study not to prep to teach, but to nourish your soul.
Prayer for Relationship
When is the last time you just talked with Jesus. Like a friend talks to a friend. Fight against an orderly and scheduled time which feels like duty.
Be Quiet + Listen
Get into nature to breath. Go for a walk or hike. See creation with the sun in your face. stop thinking and just rest being present. Get away on a regular basis.
Living in Grace Alone
Jesus loves you for you, not based on what you do in ministry or how last week went or your attendance or the lack of mistakes you made or didn’t make. Just rest in his grace on a daily and weekly basis. Remind yourself of this daily.
Get a Group
Every pastor needs a group to trust, love, hold accountable, being comfortable in silence, where you can ask hard questions, a safe place to off load, to pray with and can tell you what is true or not true. They cut through the junk to tell you the Truth. This is why pastoral cohorts through the MHA exist in part. We hope this is a place of safety and growth for your soul.
Sabbath Rest
Really. Take time off and don’t think about ministry. Probably Friday or Saturday in your weekly schedule.
Take PTO
Get away to refuel. The church will be okay without you present 52 weeks a year. Get away regularly for your soul.
Your soul is important. Take some time to think about soul killers, what to be on alert about and how to nourish your soul. If the MHA can be a support to you, please let us know.
